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This is called the discipling square. It is also called the leadership square. This is the way we teach, mentor, coach and develop people around us. As a coach, pastor, leader this is a very wonderful and powerful method for developing people around you. I will walk you through this method. Like all of the diagrams, this is a simple visual but is full of wisdom. Let’s start with an example. You are a football coach with a young player who is learning new ball skills. The first thing you will want to do is demonstrate the skill so the player can see and visualize.


So step number one is I DO / YOU WATCH. Jesus invited the disciples to join him and to follow him. This step could have lasted a long period of time. There was much for them to witness and try to understand.


The second step in the method is I DO / YOU HELP. Now when we are developing players this could take form in many different ways. With Jesus, he asked the disciples to help feed the 5,000 people with fishes and loaves. As a coach you might ask the player to help by demonstrating the skill to other players.


The third step is YOU DO / I HELP. Now the player is doing much more of the skill on his/her own. This is when the player executes the skill in various ways with pressure in the practice and in the scrimmage. You as a leader help the player execute the skill by helping them understand the best time and place to execute the skill and also when is the best time and place not to.


The Final step in the development method is YOU DO / I WATCH. Now the players have accelerated their confidence with the skill and will use it in the game. Watching does not mean you are not helping but the player needs less input, and your watching is looking for ways to improve.


There are challenges as you move with someone around the square because on each corner of the square there is the potential for flesh to appear. This can present as fear, lack of knowledge, anger, frustration, lack of confidence, and negative self-talk (I am no good, I will never get this etc.)


For those coaches who live below the line, this presents a very big challenge. How do you think a coach living below the line will respond to a player who is hitting the corner wall?


Now let’s look at this from a coach who is living above the line. How would such a coach respond? The top of my list is patience. A coach who is living above the line understands people and knows that everyone learns in different ways and speeds. His concern is for the development of the player, not what is going on inside his flesh. Patience is a necessity when helping people of all ages learn. Additionally, this coach will provide encouragement. This will reduce the stress a player will feel and put themselves in.


A coach who lives above the line is looking for opportunities when a player hits a wall. This is the moment when a player is open to receiving – either good or bad input. These are the KAIROS moments that make or break a relationship. This is the core of FC Grace – with Christ living in you, you are now becoming transformed from living below the line (selfish, prideful) to living above the line (humility, love, serving others). This is the ultimate coach.


Questions to Ponder:

Has anyone ever walked alongside you in developing your skills and talents – were they successful in teaching you? Why?

What truth are you going to take away from this diagram?


Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.


2 Timothy 2:2 And what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.

Anchor 10

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Audio - Discipling Square
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