Day 3 is focused on application, continuing to rise from the bottom of the valley and up to the mountain top. How do we live this life above the line? What does it look like?

 

The discipling square presents how Jesus mentored and helped develop his disciples so that they were prepared and matured in knowledge, understanding and application of everything Jesus taught.

 

The purpose of this diagram is to:

• communicate how we apply living above the line as a coach, influencer and leader to those around us in relationships.

• Demonstrate the method of developing disciples and leaders

• Demonstrate what the role of the leader is

• Define how and when a coach is to respond – KAIROS moments

 

The Disciplining Square is the first diagram presented on Day 3.

Draw a Square and write the title at the top, “Discipling Square”

 

Discipling Square Script

 

This is called the discipling square. It is also called the leadership square. This is the way we teach, mentor, coach and develop people around us. As a coach, pastor, leader this is a very wonderful and powerful method for developing people around you. I will walk you through this method. Like all of the diagrams, this is a simple visual but is full of wisdom.

 

Let’s start with an example. You are a football coach with a young player who is learning new ball skills. The first thing you will want to do is demonstrate the skill so the player can see and visualize.

 

So step number one is:

 

(Write “I DO/YOU WATCH” on top of the square) I DO / YOU WATCH

 

Jesus invited the disciples to join him and to follow him. This step could have lasted a long period of time. There was much for them to witness and try to understand.

 

The second step in the method is:

 

(Write “I DO/YOU HELP” on top of the square) I DO / YOU HELP

 

Now when we are developing players this could take form in many different ways. With Jesus, he asked the disciples to help feed the 5,000 people with fishes and loaves. As a coach you might ask the player to help by demonstrating the skill to other players.

 

The third step is:

 

(Write “YOU DO/I HELP” on top of the square) YOU DO / I HELP

 

Now the player is doing much more of the skill on his/her own. This is when the player executes the skill in various ways with pressure in the practice and in the scrimmage. You as a leader help the player execute the skill by helping them understand the best time and place to execute the skill and also when is the best time and place not to.

 

The Final step in the development method is

 

(Write “YOU DO/I WATCH” on top of the square) YOU DO / I WATCH

 

Now the players have accelerated their confidence with the skill and will use it in the game. Watching does not mean you are not helping but the player needs less input, and your watching is looking for ways to improve.

 

There are challenges as you move with someone around the square because on each corner of the square there is the potential for flesh to appear. This can present as fear, lack of knowledge, anger, frustration, lack of confidence, and negative self-talk (I am no good, I will never get this etc.) (Draw a line through each corner of the square. Label one of these corners with the words, fear, anger, frustration).

 

For those coaches who live below the line, this presents a very big challenge (draw a line across the middle of the square).  How do you think a coach living below the line will respond to a player who is hitting the corner wall?

 

(wait for audience input and write those words below the line inside the box). Yes, a coach may also respond with anger, frustration – for example, “Why can’t you perform this skill like I showed you?.” They may accuse the player of weakness or even stupidity. So, what comes out of a coach living below the line reflects their true heart position - anger and bitterness. How will the player respond to this? What will the player think and respond emotionally? You can believe it will not be good. The player will only give this coach a limited effort. Their own self-confidence is lowered. They will become even more frustrated.

 

Now let’s look at this from a coach who is living above the line (This is an opportunity for audience to start thinking like a coach who lives above the line). How would such a coach respond? The top of my list is patience. A coach who is living above the line understands people and knows that everyone learns in different ways and speeds. His concern is for the development of the player, not what is going on inside his flesh. Patience is a necessity when helping people of all ages learn. What else? The coach above the line is watching and asking questions. He wants to help the player -“What are you struggling with the most?” or “How can I help you?” .  A coach who lives above the line is also keenly watching the players, noting their behavior patterns.

 

Also, such a coach will always provide encouragement. This will reduce the stress a player will feel and put themselves in. Encouragement is needed to feed the player. Everyone desires to be encouraged. A coach who encourages a player will move a relationship further into a straight line, building trust. There are other things a coach who is living above the line can provide a player, such as time commitment to assist the player, and be praying for that player.

 

A coach who lives above the line is looking for opportunities when a player hits a wall. This is the moment when a player is open to receiving – either good or bad input. These are the KAIROS moments that make or break a relationship. This is the core of FC Grace – with Christ living in you, you are now becoming transformed from living below the line (selfish, prideful) to living above the line (humility, love, serving others). This is the ultimate coach.

 

With an encouraging above the line coach, (write these on the chart)

• Trust grows

• Service grows

• Loyalty grows

• Performance Increases

• Love grows

• Confidence grows

• Leadership is enhanced and develops

 

 

Testimony Opportunity:

(Share a testimony from your life that connects with what you have just taught about the Discipling Square. A great example could be of a coach, a teacher or some adult leader in your life who taught and encouraged you in a skill.)

 

 

Supporting Scripture (You can write the verse reference on the chart and or read your choice of verses to the audience)

1 Peter 5:1-5 So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

 

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

 

2 Timothy 2:2 And what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.

 

 Small Group Breakout – Questions to consider

• Discuss past experiences with coaches – were they encouragers or discouragers?

• Has anyone ever walked alongside you in developing your skills and talents – were they successful in teaching you? Why?

• What are you going to take away from this diagram and truth?